Welcome to The Wall, where you can throw up running commentary about the underneath. Or other Compendiumites. Or anything. There are few rules here. When the wall gets full, it gets set aside and a fresh, clean wall appears.


Of course, I had to have my stomach pumped about a hundred times, but that's business as usual at a Christian Boys camp. Made tons of money at $3 a pop (if you pardon the expression)!

- Mr. Douganfield


Hello everyone! I am back, I had a great time at the best camp in the world! I see that everyone here is still in their usual pissy moods. Thank you for being me the last three weeks!

- Mr. Douganfield


Gimme the tea, you bastard.

- Kevin


Happy Birthday to me........Happy Birthday to me............Happy Birthday...dear..............MEEEEEEEEEEEE..........Happy Birthday to me....

- Birthday Mokamoe


Ahhh...I feel your pettiness and contempt flowing through me like warm honeyed baby intestines...

Yesss...

....mmmmm....

...Don't stop, guys...C'mon...Dr. Who Hater, tell them again what sexual deviancies they like to perform...hey, Bill, the Dr. Who Hater tanked your play again, and hey, TEMWWP, he called you a faggot...yesss...

...oh, MAN, am I hard right now...

- SATAN'S SPAWN


Ow! Oo! I'm a pinhead dickweed! You've really put me in my place! I'm going to stop!

- Dr. Who Hater


OK. You guys are right.

Except the pinhead. Tank all you want, dickweed. You don't "win" until I give up.

- Bill


Will everyone please calm down and take it easy.

- Freddy Mercury's Wizened Mum


Yeah, I just read one called "TEMWWP and Bill Fuck Each Other In The Ass While Hogmandudegay Wanks Off As He Watches." It was great.

- Dr. Who Hater


*Ahem* So...anyone read any good books lately?

- TEMWWP


Fuck you all, poopy poopy poopy, blah blah blah. I won, you lost, har de fucking har.

- Dr. Who Hater


Well, as far as this goes:

If we could replace even a fraction of the teenage homophobic bullshit with something amusing and clever, The Compendium'd be more... well, amusing. And clever.

I agree completely. What I was saying was, I don't see that happening with the current crop of idiots that are perusing this site lately. In a few months, that may (hopefully) change. We as watchmen just shouldn't give up too easily, that's all.

- TEMWWP


Bill, Bill, Bill...

I have to agree with you this time. (AjeckamongaHUH?!?)

Well, he is right. If we could replace even a fraction of the teenage homophobic bullshit with something amusing and clever, The Compendium'd be more... well, amusing. And clever.

So, before I wear out the goddam soapbox, let's go write some stuff that's amusing and clever. That means you, too, Bill.

Oh, the Dr. Who thing. I dunno. I ignored it. Anything featuring Douganfield as a character is probably not going to be funny. I mean, for fellatio humor to be funny these days, some real work has to be done -- but then again, think of the pure majesty that is the phrase "sperm-burping gutter slut." You can just never tell, I guess.

- Hogmandudeguy


(And yes, I still had fun.)

- Dr. Who Hater


(And yes, I'm still lurking in case he tries anything...funny or non...)

- Dr. Who Hater


Yeah! What he said! You go, faggot! (Guessed wrong, BTW)

- Dr. Who Hater


No, it couldn't have -- one thing you've overlooked is that it wasn't clever, and it wouldn't have been. There's too many assholes here lately.

I'm not defending the Asshole Tanker (who, I presume, was responsible, and if I'm wrong, oh fucking well), and nor am I going to endorse El Chupacabras' "I've never seen you do anything worthwhile" line, but I have to admit, Bill, most of the time, you're pretty much an up-tight, can't-find-humor-in-a-running-joke complainer. You need to lighten up.

And yes, I realize it's glass houses and stones time, considering my inherent Language Nazi-ism, but when I complain I at least try to be entertaining. Obviously, I don't always succeed, but I at least try.

Also, I see little humor potential in making fun of Dr. Who (not to the extreme of the Hater, but still). "Land of the Lost," on the other hand...

- TEMWWP


It was not "fun".

The rest of the plays are lame. Most of the stories are just random drivel, usually carried over from the worthless crap that gets posted in the guestbook or the wall. )On that subject "The Pance Guy" was at least funny because of the contrast, and the fact that he wasn't trying to pass himself off as a "real" character.) Last time I pointed this out, I got called a whiner for just saying and not doing.

So I did. It could have been funny. It might at least have been coherent, more like that plays that caused Pete to set up that option in the first place, instead of this "I eat shit and blow little boys" dreck. Anything would have been a damn sight funnier than the endless series of stupid fag jokes and two word non-sequiteurs that slop all over the wall.

- Bill


Oh, but it was fun. It was never about "vetoing one play just because [I'm] having a bad day and want to dump on somebody else." You set yourself up, that's all.

- Dr. Who Hater


Riffing on Pussy Club's "Pike is gay" thing. Nothing personal.

- Oj-Oj


Wha...?

- Pike


Don't get your hopes up, Pike.

- Oj-Oj, the Boy-Faced Dog


Who would've thought it? Another Mr. Pussy Club. A gay one. Must be my darker side - a bit like a transporter twin, perhaps. We two can never meet for the resulting light / dark matter reaction would erase the universe.

- Mr. Pussy Club


You've infected me. I can't stop using pseudonyms. If I ever attempt to make myself sound like a superhero, please shoot me immediately.

- GVS


When I'm not trapping jazz, there's nothing I love more than the sweet taste of shit.

- Freddie Mercury's Third Son


Cum gargling jazz trap.

- GVS


Oh poo. JC shot me in the head and then through my body out the window down to the Hong Kong streets below, all because i'm a lying futher mucker.

- Maggie Chong


I am gay, and I love the taste of shit.

- Mr. Pussy Club


Never underestimate a man's love of shit.

- Mr. Pussy Club


Blow me. I've only just started (current tank notwithstanding).

- Dr. Who Hater


I love this shit.

Here, look: this list is still active -- but it's not! Yet it is! Oh, God!

http://www.compendium.org/underneath/lists/list7.html

- The Bastard


That went from annoying to puzzling to absolutely, raving-ly, drooling-into-its-held-up-by-rubber-bands-socks stupid, to something totally other than else, baybee (Oh-HO Yesh!!!!!).

Then it became annoyingly stupid and I hadda tank your tank.

In simple terms:

You. Bad. Not playing nice. Baaaaaaaad pinhead. Go sit in your corner.

- The Dr. Who Watchman


Since we're on the string-a-bunch-of-unrelated-curses-together kick, can I just say "goddamfuckshit?"

GODDAMFUCKSHIT.

Thanks.

- 4bear


"Named." "Named skippy," god-fucking-rat-piss-asshole-dammit.

- Oleo


Damn skippy. And when I say "damn skippy," I mean neither to condemn anyone names Skippy (although Lord knows they deserve it), nor to cast aspersions upon a certain brand of peanut butter.

Just "damn skippy."

- Oleo


And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, was a tanking.
Thank you, and good night.

- Dr. Who Hater


"Cadillac: like sliding your cock into smooth, oiled teen pussy."

- The Onion is my Bible


Holy shit. The Wall turned into Attention Deficit Theater... although if it's a choice between five-second mental cum-burps and poems about squirrels, I guess I'll (reluctantly) take the mental cum-burps.

- Pike


Move aside and let the Man-Goat through.

- Soul Coffin


Still don't care.

- Dr. Who Hater


Still not getting it.

- The Dr. Who Watchman


Keep bringing it back, Peej, and I'll keep tanking it. Makes no nevermind to me.

- Dr. Who Hater


Ner!

- ner


That really springs my ringer.

- Mr. Pussy Club


Make that three, chaps!

- Tramps Style Proceedings


I agree completely.

- Tramp Style Proceedings


I tend to only use one pseudonym. I feel like a geeky, bat stroking cave-freak if I use any more.

- Tramp Style Proceedings


Hang on....

- GVS


Have you seen Jackie? She's a strange, strange, strange little boy
Her long black beard is her pride and joy...

- The Dukes of Stratosphear


Have you met Alison? She's minging. Oops, I meant gorgeous.

- He's Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrilliant!


Yes, but have seen Tomorrow's World recently? I for one have already pre-ordered my solar powered car. It'll take me three days to get to work but I'll be saving £5.20 a week. That's progress.

- GVS


"...Well, here we are in the year 2000, and what have we got? No flying cars, no meal-in-a-pill, and instead of silver V-chested suits we've got Old Navy Performance Fleece. What's up with that?"

- Spotted on the "As The Apple Turns" site


Step the fuck off my name.

- General Vinegar Strokes


Just One Of Those Days

- Sack Slurping Link Pilot


I only ever use them here.

- Mr. Pussy Club


I'm going to marry a comma when I'm old enough.

- The Ryan x2


Just spank me.

- Mr. Pussy Club


What the fuck is going on? Shit! Er... something to do with a network crash I think. Yes. That's it. Network crash. Happens all the time.

- Mr. Pussy Club


Don't mention it, TEMWWP. Please, just don't mention it.

- Mr. Pussy Club


Don't mention it TEMWWP. Please just don't mention it.

- Mr. Pussy Club


Ok, ok, so I'm wrong. GENERAL, I meant GENERAL.

- Mr. Pussy Club


Sorry if I'm stating the obvious but doesn't it stand for Gerneral Vinegar Strokes?

- Mr. Pussy Club


I think he ("GVS") mistakenly means 'General (Joseph) "Vinegar Joe" Stillwell', but hey, I could be wrong.

Stillwell was the American commander in the CBI theater during WWII, and most decidedly not a Brit.

- Johnny History Buff, baybee Oh-HO Yesh


Gee, kind of makes me wish I'd been there to say hi. Well, anyway, hi.

- Cunning Linguist


History shows again and again,
how Nature points out the folly of Man.

- Godzilla


Well, you were missed, believe me. Nice to have you back, if only temporarily.

- TEMWWP


Okay i am goign too the lunch now goodbey my fellow earth compnaions Jesis luves yuio and The Ryaan x2 does two.

- J Breas


I'm temp stationed where I can get access to the 'net (instead of being shut out by Nazi admins or on the road). I'll have to leave again in a week or so, but I thought I'd have a visit for old time's sake.
As for the alias for my alias, no reason. I just thought a change was in order. As I always say when someone asks "why?," "Why not?"

- He's ba(...)ack! (but only temporarily)


I am not the one doingffield on purtpose, u r i am a gooid typeriste.

- J Breas


Oh, Hammy, old boot! Why didn't you say so! What's with the "He's Baaack" thing, then?

- TEMWWP


Okay, now he's just doing it on purpose.

- TEMWWP


TEMWWP, my old compadre,
Kindly refer to my first posting, about 1/2 way down the wall.

- He's baaaaaaaaaaaaack!


Iluve you two, i love all the Dougangields wiht the liove thart only tfhe Doiuganfierld casn hav der.

- J Breas


While I agree with the sentiment of the incoherent shit no longer being posted, I feel compelled to ask who the "he" in "He's baa[etc.]ck" refers to.

- TEMWWP


I luve u

- J Breas


J Breas, go fuck yourself. And stop posting incoherent shit to the wall. Thanky.

- He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!


I like Mr. He's baaaaaak he's my firned and all who are my friend will be my friend and then my frienda witgh me and we go to were the Douganfieldfses are and we douganfeidld allk the day whith my firends.

- J Breas


So, Mr. Condescension, (snort) you thought I was sticking up for J Breas? (gratuitous laughing). (Guffaw, guffaw.) (Mwa harharharharharharhaharharharharhar!!!!!!!)
Yeah, sure. OK, you just go right on believing that. It's still a relatively free country, at least if you're in Montana.
(snicker)(snort, choke, guffaw!)

- He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!


No, straight up. Hit it once. Did have a network burp when I did it, though. Pete, I thought you'd fixed the multiple submissions thing on the Guestbook/Wall...what happened?

- Mel Cooley, Dark Lord of Freak NT Network Burps


Liar.

- Spoon Boy


That was weird. Only hit the Submit button once.

- Mel Cooley, Dark Lord of Repetitive Wall Postings


Okay, I know you don't have time (or the computer at home yet, obviously, since the damned nests are still fucked up), but it would almost be fun to have a "Chat Room for People Who Hate Chat Rooms." Something with a Compendium twist to it...with daily or weekly transcripts available, maybe, and people could vote on those worthy of going on the Shelf and those worthy of just trashing.

Like you've got the time.

On a completely unrelated note, why would Nine Inch Nails do a cover of an obscure Queen album track?

- Mel Cooley, Dark Lord of Extra Work For Pete


Okay, I know you don't have time (or the computer at home yet, obviously, since the damned nests are still fucked up), but it would almost be fun to have a "Chat Room for People Who Hate Chat Rooms." Something with a Compendium twist to it...with daily or weekly transcripts available, maybe, and people could vote on those worthy of going on the Shelf and those worthy of just trashing.

Like you've got the time.

On a completely unrelated note, why would Nine Inch Nails do a cover of an obscure Queen album track?

- Mel Cooley, Dark Lord of Extra Work For Pete


Okay, I know you don't have time (or the computer at home yet, obviously, since the damned nests are still fucked up), but it would almost be fun to have a "Chat Room for People Who Hate Chat Rooms." Something with a Compendium twist to it...with daily or weekly transcripts available, maybe, and people could vote on those worthy of going on the Shelf and those worthy of just trashing.

Like you've got the time.

On a completely unrelated note, why would Nine Inch Nails do a cover of an obscure Queen album track?

- Mel Cooley, Dark Lord of Extra Work For Pete


Okay, I know you don't have time (or the computer at home yet, obviously, since the damned nests are still fucked up), but it would almost be fun to have a "Chat Room for People Who Hate Chat Rooms." Something with a Compendium twist to it...with daily or weekly transcripts available, maybe, and people could vote on those worthy of going on the Shelf and those worthy of just trashing.

Like you've got the time.

On a completely unrelated note, why would Nine Inch Nails do a cover of an obscure Queen album track?

- Mel Cooley, Dark Lord of Extra Work For Pete


Okay, I know you don't have time (or the computer at home yet, obviously, since the damned nests are still fucked up), but it would almost be fun to have a "Chat Room for People Who Hate Chat Rooms." Something with a Compendium twist to it...with daily or weekly transcripts available, maybe, and people could vote on those worthy of going on the Shelf and those worthy of just trashing.

Like you've got the time.

On a completely unrelated note, why would Nine Inch Nails do a cover of an obscure Queen album track?

- Mel Cooley, Dark Lord of Extra Work For Pete


That'd be swell!

- Pete "Scuttler" Magsig, Jr.


Yes, son, unfortunately, I, too, know of chat scripts. But the problem is that I hate chat rooms. Although I just might do it if the traffic keeps going.

- Pete


You know, Dad, having a Compendium Chat area might be interesting -- and I know someone who has a pretty decent html chat script that you could steal...

- Pete "Scuttler" Magsig, Jr.


Thanks for clearing that up.

- GVS


Some adolescent wanker who spammed up the wall a month or so back, and some dickweeds kept making fun of him until he left. This J Breas person tried to stand up for him and now the dickweeds attack him. Juvenile.

- El Chupacabras


Who the fuck is Douganfield?

- GVS


BECAUSE they have big, shiny eyes &
they will sit on your shoulder & they can live as
long as seven years but are lucky to live two &
if you sit quietly you can hear them nibbling &
they can hang upside down by their hind feet while eating &
people run over them and don't care & they wiggle
their noses & when they "raid"
birdfeeders they aren't playing around, they are hungry &
when two squirrels meet they shake their tails at each other &
they are as soft as they look & when they go to
sleep at night they use their tails for a blanket &
people can choose to be kind to animals & Because
wherever you find them there are also beautiful trees,
I'm proud to be a squirrel watcher!

- Jon Gottshall


There, you see...it's comments like that that make you the only person on here I can even tolerate.

- El Chupacabras


Mmmmm....creamy monster mustard....

- Mr. Pussy Club


Mmmmm....beast sperm....

- El Chupacabras


I just want to thank Mr. He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack for all the protection and love he's given me. why, such kind and sweet devotion could get me to switch from Douganfield to him. Sweet, swwet Douganfield, forgive me, Ididnt mean it.

Where fore art thou, Douganfield?

- J Breas


Your only reward is the sperm of the beast wanked.

- Mr. Pussy Club


I am.

- El Chupacabras


Mr Pussy Club: Granted, but these guys aren't getting paid for it

- GVS


There's nothing wrong with beast-wankers. It's expected of you in the RAF.

- Mr. Pussy Club


Aw, wuzza maddur, "He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!", did oo tink I wuz making fun of your fwend J Breas? Dere dere, liddul mans, izz okay. I'll protect oo fwum da mean ol Compendiumites. Dere dere.

(Crap. Almost forgot my tag-line)

- Mr. Condescension (look it up)


What?!?!

- M.r Condfescionesons


Alas, my Douganfielding days draw nigh. as I cannot have Douganfield, I must become sweet Douganfield. i'm half-way there on the intelligence scale already.

This is not M.r Condfescionesons typing this this is the real J Breas x2.

- J Breas


I'm hoping it would.

- El Chupacabras


If this is such a clever compendium of minds, answer me this...
"If my body was to suddenly accelerate to the speed of light. Why then wouldn't my head explode?"

- Spoon Boy


I don't why I bothered coming to this site. I'm sick of you pizza-faced beast wankers already.

- GVS


Deh.

- Mr. Pussy Club


Oh, yeah:
Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

- He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!


Mr. Condescension, quit posing as J Breas. Please.

- He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!


Real intelligent. Hey! ner! Yeah! ner! Everybody now! NER!

- J Breas


Ner.

- ner


Wha? I am? Cool!

- He's blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!


Oh, it's not a matter of not being able to afford it, it's a matter of the time difference. You're at work when a lot of us are just waking up.

- Tuesday Weld


PS. The Ryan x2: L, R, c-up, c-right, c-up, c-down, R, R, Start. The screen will go blue and you will hear a squelchy cunt noise. Don't mention it.

- Mr. Pussy Club


...and just as I reached the vinegar strokes the phone rang. Oh, sorry. I feel really left out after the day's banter. If only you Americans could afford to use the net during the day we could communicate real-time. How exciting that would be. Anyway, have to go and 'frig' some muff. Don't stop being gay!¬¬¬¬¬

- ¬¬¬¬¬Mr. Pussy Club


Yes, that's it exactly, genius. Close-simmer fuck above. Brilliant.

- SATAN'S SPAWN


close-simmer fuck above?

- Junebug Mortimer-Smythe III


schließensiedenfuckoben

- He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!


Whoops, that should read:

What I, am is, a total fucking, idiot who loves, his Douganfield every, day.

- The Ryan x2


What I am is a total fucking idiot who loves his Douganfield every day.

- The Ryan x2


I'm not kidding.

- The Ryan x2


Did I just write all that? Or was that a sample of USA humour?

- Spoon Boy


Oui GVS, je suis en effet anglais. Aimez une pinte après travail?

- Spoon Boy


No, actually, I'm from the Holy Kingdom of Scandinavia.

- Spoon Boy


Get a room, you two.

- El Chupacabras


Spoon Boy: I might. Are you, perhaps, a fellow Brit?

- GVA


GVS, I might. You?

- Spoon Boy


Like I've ever been to UK. Like I can understand anything they say. Like I care.

I.R.A.! I.R.A.! I.R.A.! I.R.A.! I.R.A.! I.R.A.! I.R.A.!

I love my Individual Retirement Account! Yes, sir!

- He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!


Keep Britain tiny.

- George Harrison in A Hard Day's Night


Rule Britannia

- General Vinegar Strokes


Dude, that's "Cor," not "Col."

- José Kurasawa Magsig


Col blimey! A Brit! Aiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Quick, let's hand the country over before they try to take it back!

-Hamlet

- He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!


Does anyone else think it's fucking cool that there are so many Brits that visit the Compendium?

- José Kurasawa Magsig


I miss my Douganfield and wish that he was inside me right now how I love him where are you Douganfdield.

This is not me that is writing this this is The Ryan x2, deh.

Has anybody got cheat codes for Why I'm Such A Fucking Moron?

This conversation, is, over.

- The Ryan x2


...oh, and the story "Gia Wants To Know." Everything from the beginning of Act One to the next to last line of dialogue is mine.

- SATAN'S SPAWN


TEMWWP: Okay.

Spoon Boy: Not sick and wrong enough. Here, go to the shelf, read my Summer Funtime Variety Show Special (the second one), and then try again.

- SATAN'S SPAWN


Spoon Boy..Do you go by any other names?

- GVS


LA, huh? My sympathies. Oh, and Spawn? Bite me.

- TEMWWP


Point taken, although I am visiting LA in about 3 weeks time.

- GVS


Geez, TEMWWP, I know it's been asked before, but do you really talk like that? No wonder people keep calling you a pickle-smoking butt-pirate.

Now burn eternally, consumed in fire, maggots choking back your screams, and your anus continually violated by The Ryan x2 and Mr. Douganfield.
(Giddily Vulgar Squirrels?)

- SATAN'S SPAWN


Hey, early start this morning. Cool.
Let's see...
So, what does SATAN's SPAWN stand for?

Such A Twat And Needs Severe Punching As Wanks Non-stop?
Inquiring ladles want to know.

- Spoon Boy


Dude, you just told them where to send the bombs.

- José Kurasawa Magsig


While I appreciate the sentiment, the logistics are a bit...difficult. If you're on the British Isles somewhere, as I surmise, there's what? an 8 hour difference? and at least a 14 hour trip to the American Midwest? -- and as I'm about 5 1/2 hours south of O'Hare International, I don't forsee it happening.

By the way, as much as my mother (and I) would disavow it, my parents were legally married on my conception and birth. Of course, I'm a bastard at heart...

- TEMWWP


Is that a yes?
I find this virtual world a little confusing

- General Vinegar Strokes


(Speaking of irony, of course...)

- TEMWWP


Whatever.

- TEMWWP


Hrrrmmmmm.

- I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go...


Hey, early start this morning. Cool. Let's see...

So, what does GVS stand for?

Garish Vicuna Suit?
Grotesquely Violent Sodomy?
Gangs Violate Sue?
Giraffes Vibrate Suddenly?

Inquiring demons want to know.

- SATAN'S SPAWN


As much as I enjoy your company, I really should be working. By the way, fancy a pint tonight, you bastard???????????????

- GVS


Yes I meant to enter that twice.
And stop using the word 'whatever'. If anything stinks of bad American TV shows it's that.

- GVS


Should've used a question mark, "mate."

- TEMWWP


I was taking the piss out of your standards mate. Or don't you understand irony.

- GVS


I was taking the piss out of your standards mate. Or don't you understand irony.

- GVS


Wow. That was pretty damned clever. Where'd you get that, "Beavis & Butthead" or "Friends?" Gosh, I'm so wounded, I'll never criticize anyone's functional illiteracy again.

Whatever.

- TEMWWP


Buttmunch

- GVS


Yeah, whatever.

Idiot.

- The English Major Who Waits Perversely (TEMWWP, dumbass)


But then, each entry in a descriptive list should be separated by a comma. Surely you understand that.
For example:
You deluded, moronic fool.
Do you see?

- GVS



My: punctuation for, example. is exemplary

- GVS


Who is TEMWWP and why is someone who uses words like 'dipshit' criticising punctuation?

- GVS


No! The girl with dragon green eyes is a rug muncher?

AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrgh!

- D. Lo Pan


What's with the Whitney Huston obsession lately? Did Kim Catrall start hitting the Compendium or something?

- They're lovers, you know...


"This conversation, is over."
Yeah, that's definitely from the genuine article. Nice comma placement, dipshit.

- TEMWWP


Shut up.

- Joke's over. Move along.


Was someone looking for me?

- The Bridge


Blink

- Blink


Spoon Boy..
I'll use language you can understand.
You're a Gumby - plain and simple. Got it?

- General Vinegar Strokes


A message for General Vinegar Strokes .....
I bend spoons. However, you're just a bender...
I hope you understand.

- Spoon Boy


A message for General Vinegar Strokes .....
I bend spoons. However, you're just a bender...

- Spoon Boy


A message for General Vinegar Strokes .....
I bend spoons. However, you're just a bender...

- Spoon Boy


A message for General Vinegar Strokes .....
I bend spoons. However, you're just a bender...

- Spoon Boy


A message for Mr Pussy Club.....
Your cunning is merely a delusion.
You scale the crenellations of the mind like a well oiled, one-armed man.
I hope you understand.

- General Vinegar Strokes


A message for Mr Pussy Club.....
Your cunning is merely a delusion.
You scale the crenellations of the mind like a well oiled, one-armed man.
I hope you understand.

- General Vinegar Strokes


A message for Mr Pussy Club.....
Your cunning is merely a delusion.
You scale the crenellations of the mind like a well oiled, one-armed man.
I hope you understand.

- General Vinegar Strokes


A message for Mr Pussy Club.....
Your cunning is merely a delusion.
You scale the crenellations of the mind like a well oiled, one armed man.
I hope you understand.

- General Vinegar Strokes


Time to not-so-skillfully reinsert myself into the daily workings of the wonder of modern man that is the Compendium. Well, come to think of it, all I do is shy away from all human contact.

- The Wallflower


I just thought that would look funny on New things

- some stupid jerk signed the wall,


Hi, I am new here, and I was wondering who TheRyanx2 was.

- Ricky Rouse


Yeah, whatever... monkey-boy.

- Uh-huh


This conversation, is over.

- The Ryan x2


You cunning bastard.

- Mr. Pussy Club


It probably also helps that some people wrote nasty (and somewhat descriptive) stuff about the problem whenever it happened.

- Cunning Linguist


Pete, do you think if you erased the huge wads of repeated words from the old guestbook that people would wonder at the strange differences in file size or read this one entry in the thick of the wall and realise what happened?

- Mr. Pussy Club


Whatever happened to The Wounded Pirate, anyway? Did he finally up and die?

- Finn


Was someone looking for me?

- The Bridge


Oh Shit!

- Damn


My shit is no tthe wotrthless shit you are the worthless shit, deh

where is my Douganfield to protect me from these brutes? Alas o! Douganfield wehere are you?

- J Breas


Ooops.

I meant to say: "Bevare, I lif!"

But you knew dat, yah?

- Sven S. Starr (ret.)


I love you too. Uh-oh!

- Tinky-Winky


I love you.

- J Breas


Repent or the Lord will come down and FUCK YOU UP.

- Rev. J. Gree, Church of Jesus Christ, Ass-kicker


Breas, or pseudo-Breas, quit posting your worthless shit on me. Now.

- The Wall


Douganfield... Oh, Douganfield... Where are you, my little whipping boy?

Hm. Guess he buggered off... Ohh, did you hear what I said? I said "buggered off," and as we all know, Dougie is a... well, anyway.

- Nastoid


I like Dr Who i smear dr who all over me and I roll around in Dr who.

Then I dream of loving Douganfield i do so miss him *sob*

- J Breas


Excuse me, I'm just looking for the bridge. Has anybody seen the bridge?

Where's that confounded bridge?

- The Crunge


Beware. I live.

- Sven S. Starr (ret.)


Don't care. Still sucks.

- Asshole Tanker


Hrrrrm.

Nope. Not the detective you think you are. Heh.

Try again.

- The Dr. Who Watchman


I liked the Dr. Who play. Parody?

- Dr. Why


Okay, so, the evidence of the New Things lists suggests that the sick fuck who typed up the majority of the story "Sexual Feelings" is also the watchman for the "Dr. Who" piece of shit. Good. Makes me feel better to tank the fucker.

- Asshole Tanker


Riffing on "Decaf Mocha Moe"?

Shit, I riffed that son-of-a-bitch so hard back in '78 on the Midwest leg of the "Goofy Survivalist in a Loincloth" tour that I blew out every goddamned window in the fuckin' Checker Dome. There was a foot of glass piled up along the walls on the main floor and every little teenybopper in the front row was bleedin' from the ears, man.

Definitely left some balls hangin' from the ceiling after that one.

- T. Nugent


Criminal sexual assault is a Class 1 felony.

- effective 1-1-98


Okay, wait just a minute. I have to clarify something. The midgets aren't actually the ones doing the sucking, okay? I know we're the right height, and all, but hey -- I ain't no Douganfield.

- Billy Barty


Shut up, Mel.

- Alan Brady


What I want to know is how many of us were there? I was one.

- Mel Cooley, Dark Lord of Simultaneous Posting


"Dirty Movies at the Copacabana" is, like, the best story ever. Just skip all the other shit and read the fantastic simultaneous posting stuff in the last paragraph. Truly amazing.

- Ozo


New wall. I call "no stupid escalating armament jokes."

- Emphaticus

The wall is 92% full.
The last time something was scribbled on the wall was Saturday, August 19, 2000.


home